Marriage Enrichment: Speed Sex
August 5, 2010 by Robyn
Filed under Marriage Enrichment
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By Suzie Davis
It’s always amusing to read about new studies that come out with “findings” that are incredibly obvious. Like just last year when the newspapers and periodicals were a flurry with the report from a team of sex therapists. The exciting new report in the Journal of Sexual Medicine concluded that the optimum time for intercourse was three to thirteen minutes. This, apparently, was groundbreaking news for the researchers. They gathered 1,500 couples, armed the women with stopwatches, and asked them to gauge how long it took to have mutually satisfying sex. The study concluded that the median time was 7.3 minutes, dispelling the belief that “if you really want to satisfy your partner, you should last forever.” Last forever … are they kidding? First off, that’s a myth of male proportions promulgated in men’s locker rooms. Second, who has that kind of time? My girlfriends and I are busy, busy women; we don’t want to have a man who’s not interested in getting things going on. If indeed we did—wait around for the perfect, longest-lasting moment the sex therapist team seems to be thinking that we want to have—our dear husbands simply wouldn’t get any at all.
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God made sex as a defense against temptation.
And finally, God made sex for comfort.
To me, that list goes back and forth like waves hitting the beach. Life. Oneness. Knowledge. Pleasure. Defense. Comfort. The amazing love expression spoken between a husband and wife. You’ve got to admit, God did a fabulous thing in creating sex, and he was pure genius to keep it within the framework of the covenant of marriage. There’s no place better to appreciate the vulnerability, the nakedness—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Now, maybe you understand the importance of sex, but you just don’t feel it. And you don’t feel like doing anything about it. Well, you’re not alone. Many women are the same way. As a matter of fact, psychiatrist Anita Clayton says that while men regard dissatisfaction in the bedroom as a crisis, women simply settle for less. Maybe you’ve been there, done that—after a long day’s work, you succumb to the overtures from your husband without feeling any connection at all. And then you end up feeling as though you simply settled for less. It’s a common occurrence, but one that, given some needed perspective, doesn’t have to be.
Perhaps settling for less is a result of women failing to understand the aforementioned list. Just maybe, we’ve fallen prey to thinking of sex as just physical—like what we see portrayed in the media—and we’ve failed to remember that sex is much more than physical. It’s emotional and spiritual too.
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Excerpt from Uncovered, by Suzie Davis
